How did this happen? 6 months? 183 days since I first held your sweet little body in my arms? Time is SO cruel little girl. It will tear your heart to pieces and leave your head spinning with questions. HOW did this happen so quickly? Why can’t you stay little forever? Do you love me, like REALLY REALLY LOVE ME? Am I doing a good job of being your Mom? Are you a happy baby? What can I do better? How can I “enjoy every moment”? and why do people keep telling me to do this as if I’m not already trying my hardest? You’re growing so quickly, and I am SO PROUD to be your mama. So proud to watch you learn and come more and more into your own personality. I’m so proud of all you are and all you will be in the months and years to come.
Being your Mom has taught me SO much. It has taught me that a mother’s love is immeasurable and fierce. So many other people in this world love. Every day they pass those emotions back and forth, and I know they do it well… But baby girl, I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that there is ANY other person in this WHOLE big old world that could POSSIBLY love someone else in the way that I love you. You have unlocked a part of my heart and mind that I never knew existed and now that I know this fuller, bigger and more ME version of myself, I struggle to identify with the person I was before you came along.
Every time you learn something new my heart swells so much it could burst. After talking with a fellow mommy friend a few nights ago she matter-of-factly told me that bittersweet is most certainly the only word that can describe watching your babies grow up. I agree. That word must have been created my a Mama… Nothing else could better explain the feelings I feel in watching you grow up before my very eyes. It’s so bitter that you’re needing me less and less, but so sweet to watch you do and become what you were created to be and do. God gives us babies not so they can stay babies, but so we can train them up and teach them to be “big people”. Ready or not, it’s the way the system was created and who am I to try to undermine that?
I want you to know that NO MATTER WHAT Mama+ Daddy are ALWAYS here for you. We will always be your people. We will ALWAYS be in your corner. Our purpose is to encourage you, train you up in the way you should go, love you, respect you, discipline you, disciple you, push you, and care for you. As long as I am on this earth I can promise you those things. I don’t promise to always get it right, but I do promise to live every day of the rest of my life trying my hardest to be the best example I can possibly be for you. You’re our whole little world Nora Jane, here’s hoping the next 6 months move a little slower than the last 6 did!