1 week, 6 days.
It truly feels like just a few days ago that we found out we were expecting again. By the same token, I feel like I’ve been carrying around 500 extra pounds for a year and a half now. In just a few days (or really any minute now) we could be welcoming a new little Atkinson girl into this world and to be honest I’m feeling pretty under qualified to be trying to take care of more than one little one at a time.
I’m beyond excited to meet this new little person that we created. So thrilled to see who she will be, how she will love, the way she will look at her big sister… But third trimester exhaustion laced with Mom guilt has me terrified of if I can handle it all. I have to keep reminding myself that the Lord is sovereign over the timing of my kiddos, and that where I can’t- He can.
I’m doing my very best to enjoy these last few days with our family the way that it is, the way that I’ve known it for the past 19.5 months. Every day my goal is to make it the “best day ever” for Nora. Knowing that any moment could be our last moments as just the two of us leaves me weepy and and bundle of emotions. I’m a walking, talking, ball of tears waiting to be set off by the smallest thing. My poor husband.
Wes has been a saint through this whole pregnancy. I don’t think there’s a more understanding guy in the world. I am so thankful for the role he has played in taking care of all these ladies. And I’m even more grateful that he’s EXCITED for another girl. In truth, he is an amazing dad, and even greater girl-dad. He’s going to love these ladies beautifully and I am so excited that I get a front row seat to watch that.
I’m anxious about the sleepless nights, the hormonal-ness that comes with those first few weeks, and the reality of eventually being left home alone with TWO little people… Where I am weak-He is strong.
In the end, we’ll figure it out. I’ll treat this change just like I have been treating the past 19.5 months with Nora. We just do the best we can and take it one day at a time.
In a matter of days I will be holding a precious, perfect, beautiful new little baby girl in my arms, her sister will snuggle up next to us kiss her tiny head and this baby will wrap her fingers around her big sisters fingers. It is this picture that I hold onto in the hard moments, when I question if I’m capable. It is that moment that I look forward to every single day.
Come on baby girl, we’re ready for you.